Five last words

The skin on her chest and upper arms was cold. She had splashed it with freshly scented vanilla water a couple of moments ago. There were some crystals resting on her chest which did not dissolve yet. She crushed them with her fingers. She looked on her left. The candle was lit and for a moment she was tempted to approach her hand in the flame, but she stopped at the last moment.

His eyes were burning. He was disappointed in her.

She felt like crying, but she was unable to shed a single tear. She was messed up and she was not understood.

1000000 thoughts on her mind.

The impossibility to focus. The lack of cohesion.

All she could see were purple dots.

Hopeless.

There was no way out.

One single comforting thought. She said NO.

She never got what she wanted from all the persons she has ever gotten close to. She was never enough. She was never fucking good enough.

She just wished she never got involved in the first place. But that’s not her.

She’s the kind of person who gives her all and does not receive anything in return.

It’s sad.

She needed you, but for your information, never admitted that. She wanted you there, but you didn't. So, why bother?

Everything and nothing at the same time. 

You were never there. 

You did not get her.

You never will.