September 16th

Every night, at approximately 1:30 am there is an aeroplane hovering above her house. It was the third time she heard it. This night was no exception. She wonders if this is the last time she will hear it. This routine was comforting for her. Soon she will not be hearig any aeroplanes or the barking of the dog next door. She will find herself in complete solitude. It's what she wanted. She already feels alone. She will make it. She is so much stronger than she thought. She deserves so much better. Finally she is starting to understand it. The more she grasps the idea, the more easier it is for her to detach herself. Even though he was important to her, she is proud of herself for standing her ground. It was harder than she thought. She lost two things with a couple of sentences. So be it. It was her time. She will not be defeated. He wasn't right about anything. And she is convonced of that. His words did not pierce the bricks, did not shatter her beliefs. It's weird that she actually feels liberated. She can breathe on her own and she can pursue her path (whichever that is). It's strange how you get to know people. The persons that you least expect become so important to you. What is even weirder is how these connections evolve. Persons who you believe will always be there walk away. She didn't. Because of her she hasn't given up. For the first time in weeks a tear rolled down her left cheek. She felt it on her neck. The salty liquid dried and left an invisible trace. She could feel it on her face. Yet she couldn't cry. She couldn't sleep. She was alone with her thoughts.

September 7th

I never thought I could actually feel this way.

The tiny bubbles in the water were shining in the white light. Her hand was surrounded by dancing diamonds. As she was drifting away from the shore, her hands were gently hovering on the surface of the water. She could reach the bottom of the pool so that she was able to focus on the movements of her hand. Slow motion enthralled her. She wished she could freeze that moment in time. It felt as if the entire existence was concentrated in those bubbles struggling to reach the surface.

She held her breath and dived. Nothing held her back this time. For a brief moment she felt like she was somebody else. But it was herself all along. Her hidden self. She closed her eyes, filled her lungs with air and dived into the shallow depth of the water.

***

The room was cloudy and the air heavy. She was not alone. There was a man standing next to the door. 

Everybody was naked, including herself. She had no inhibitions; she felt comfortable showing her body. She was done having body related issues. Even the fact that she was the youngest person there didn’t bother her. She placed her towel underneath her and placed her feet into the lotus position. She straightened her back and placed her hands on the bent knees. Her breath shortened in the first minutes as she tried to control the amount of air she was inhaling.

Her eyes were closed. As she was not used to the air, she choked on it. The sound of the cough echoed in the tiny room. She opened her eyes for a brief moment just to see the man in front of her caressing his penis. His legs were spread and his right hand was moving up and down. The sight of it made her so sick at the point she could throw up. The reaction puzzled her a bit.