vineri, 7 octombrie 2011

Rock paper scissors

The beach is a gigantic place filled with million pieces of microscopic pebbles. It's really hard to find the right one, trust me. There are a thousand tiny pebbles along the shoreline, each in every possible form, shape and color. But what happens when you've discovered the perfect pebble just to realize that it is out of your reach? You need to settle with a less perfect pebble and try to forget about the perfect one.

You have to think twice before picking up any pebble because once you've held it in your palm there's no turning back. You're stuck with it. Once you've inhaled its particles, they will spread through your bloodstream. This happens so fast that you don't even realize when and how it happens. The worthless pebble will no longer lay on the ground, it will become a part of you. Each time you inhale and exhale you will feel it in your body. Your heart will be aching, your chest will be sore. All the time. The tiny pebble will slowly eat you alive. Every inch of your body will scream in pain. But you cannot utter a sound since words hurt so much they cannot search for relief. The bruised heart is scattered with so many pieces of memories that it shows signs of failure. Time spears nothing. Every second wasted, every heartbeat is bringing it closer to exhaustion. I told you there's no turning back. I told you to think twice before taking this leap.

Your heart will eventually start bleeding. You're so familiar with the pain, aren't you? Then why are you so scared? You can bare the physical pain, but you're too weak to ignore her call. Oh wait, that's what got you here in the first place. The powerless girl with a cowardly excuse, that's who you are. You're so afraid and insecure that you settle with the easiest option. But as you walk away from the beach with the rusty pebble, you can't stop thinking about the perfect pebble. However you know that you cannot have it and you never will. Yet you cannot stop thinking. What if you haven't given up on the shiny pebble? What if you tried harder? What if...There's no use because the shiny, perfect pebble is and will always be out of reach for you. So just get used to it, all right?