For a moment I thought it was all real.
The house seemed quite large; each room reminded me of something. The ceiling was out of reach, yet I felt suffocated. It all happened so fast that I didn’t even have time to grieve.
I was wondering through the rooms like I was a stranger. A mixture of enthusiasm and panic was overwhelming my body. I saw the shadow of my best friend from middle school. A fraction of a second she was there, then she was gone. Along with her disappearance I felt myself fading.
I went into the bathroom. A cold, blue room. I could see my breath as I exhaled. My hands were no longer pink. I tried holding my fingers still but a cold shiver passed through my entire body. As I watched my hands trembling I noticed that my knuckles turned blue. It was as if I had been suddenly bruised. But I did not feel a thing. I only felt that I wasn’t alone anymore. Fear was overwhelming me, yet I couldn’t look behind me. I could only stare at my reflection in the mirror. A little girl approached me, yet I couldn’t see her reflection in the mirror. I could only feet the soft touch of her white gown on my legs. Her eyes were stunningly blue and they were fixing me, while her blonde hair was beautifully framing her pale face. It seemed that she wanted to utter something, but no sound was coming out of her mouth. Her eyes reflected such a pure affliction that it seemed nobody could truly understand it. She was so young…
When I finally found the courage to look into her eyes my heart stopped beating. Her lips weren’t moving, yet I could clearly hear her voice in my head. Suddenly, a tiny and insignificant drop of blood started dripping from her forehead. In vain was I trying to wipe it because her skin seemed out of reach. The white sink was now filled with salty, red spots and the bleeding didn’t seem to be stopping. I tried to brush her hair off her face but I couldn’t grab a single strand of her hair. She was bleeding, yet I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
Then something happened. The Laura everybody knew no longer existed.
I ran into the living room and tried talking to somebody, anybody. Everybody kept telling me that they were here beside me because they wanted to “help me”. I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. “I’m still alive. I’m here, aren’t I? Why can’t anybody see it?”. My hands were shaking as I was searching for my cigarettes. A hand stopped me from lighting it. “From now on you cannot smoke because the ember will unravel your identity”. “What identity? Apparently no one notices my presence, so why the fuck can’t I smoke?”. “The human eye is not trained to perceive such fast movements. Your body travels so fast that nobody can see you as you move. If you light a cigarette somebody might notice you and once you have joined our world there’s no turning back. You cannot go back to the way you were. Never again. And you are not allowed to be discovered”. “What the hell are you talking about?”. “You are in your house. This will be your home from now on. You may go anywhere you wish, but you cannot leave the house. You can see who you wish. I know who you wish to see. I know that you’ve waited a long time to see him”. “What are you talking about? How do you know?”. “All you have to do is think of him and you will be right next to him. You are allowed to look at him for as long as you please, but you must not touch him or try interacting with him in any other way”. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening to me. I wanted to see him, but not like this. I wanted to touch him, feel him and inhale the smell of his body. I couldn’t do this. I was trapped. I was trapped in my own mind.
